Dean Holden gave an in depth interview to The Times yesterday, reproduced below. He comes across as a person of considerable qualities, one fan who read the report said that it reminded him of Curbs.
When Charlton Athletic were losing at half-time against
Oxford United in Dean Holden’s second game, he showed his players his
frustration. “The tactics board got snapped in half,” Holden recalls.
“That’s not in my nature normally but we were terrible in
that first half [with] players not running and a performance I wasn’t prepared
to accept.” His players reported in for training at Sparrows Lane, New Eltham,
for what they feared would be a loud, challenging debrief on the League One
defeat. “They were expecting a bit of a video nasty,” Holden adds.
Instead of a video, Holden showed them a cherished
photograph of him with his daughter, Cici Milly, who contracted meningococcal
sepsis while on holiday in Lanzarote in 2012. The blood infection
spread rapidly to Cici’s brain and she never recovered. Cici was 17 months
old.
“I know that trauma has made me a better parent, better
husband and better manager because of the empathy it gives you,” Holden says.
“I was open to the players about the situation and what that meant to me in my
life. I said to them, ‘Don’t waste tomorrow, don’t waste today, you’re a young
professional footballer, it’s the best time of your life.’ ”
Seize every second. Charlton won their next two games. Such
has been Holden’s impact that he has been given a three-year contract and they
head to Bristol Rovers on Friday afternoon on the back of a five-game unbeaten
run, including Saturday’s 6-0 thrashing of Shrewsbury Town.
His players come into his office to open up about any
concerns or problems. On the wall opposite Holden’s desk is a picture of him
with his family, a larger photo of Cici and the exhortation: “Life isn’t about
waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”
Talking in his office on Tuesday, Holden looks at the
picture. “When Cici died, I couldn’t get through the day,” he says. “The stats
within two years of a child dying — 88 per cent of parents separated. I said
this to the players after the Oxford game that there was an 88 per cent chance
against me and my wife Danielle [Nicholls, the television presenter] making it
and we did.
“It’s about hope. So
if we’re 12 points away from the play-offs or 2-0 down at half-time, it’s just
about our mindset. It’s always around having the humility to appreciate what
we’ve got. The sun’s shining, yes we just won 6-0, but now we’re back into work
again.”
The Charlton players respected their manager opening up. “I
made myself vulnerable. I had a player, nowhere near the team, knock on the
door and speak to me about personal things in his life, big things. Players
know I have their back. When you show your own vulnerability I don’t think it
makes you weak.
“Normally players would be scared of speaking to the ‘boss’,
opening up, [saying] ‘I’ve got some issues with my girlfriend,’ as he might
leave them out of the team. I’d never do that. I’m definitely a better manager
because of my experiences.
“Look, I have to make big decisions, who we keep at the
club, who plays on a Saturday, but I don’t see why you have to be an arsehole
about that. I’m honest and truthful with them. That helps.
“At a previous club, this player trained badly for a couple
of days. He found out he’d had his underfloor heating on for two years and he
didn’t know. He got this bill through, and it was quite a heavy bill — and this
was before the stupid bills recently. Even though he was now earning a good
salary that just threw him completely because he came from a really tough upbringing.
“Now that sounds ridiculous to someone who might have lost a
child but that’s his life, that’s his norm. He opened up to me. I said, ‘Right,
fine, we’ll fix it.’ The club fixed it, he trained the next day, played and I
should say he scored a hat-trick, but he didn’t.”
Holden’s empathy emanates from the trauma. “After Cici died,
we joined a group called The Compassionate Friends [a charity for bereaved
parents]. We’ve met parents from the Hillsborough Disaster, and some from the
Manchester Arena bombing. When you see [the footage of] parents stood outside
the arena waiting for their kids to come out, it was heart-breaking.
“Only the work I’ve done since our daughter died enables me
to do this. I meditate twice a day, I do yoga, I do the Wim Hof cold water
immersion. That enables me to stay calm and safe. Some of the stuff I do is
classed as weird. Football’s opening its eyes a bit but it is still really
institutionalised.
“I went to see Stuart Lancaster, the rugby guy [former
England head coach], at Leinster just before Covid and they had a meditation
class from 8am to 8.30am, and I thought, ‘You’d not see that in football.’ We
brought yoga in here, we do deep breathing — all the stuff that’s
scientifically proven but has got a bit of a stigma to it. I’ve got my incense
sticks over there and my Ganesh Buddha. I don’t care if people think I’m
weird.”
It calms him. “People think you don’t care as much because
you’re not this raving lunatic who’s really depressed when you lose. Me moping
around here on a Monday morning after we got beat will not help the players.”
Holden points to an envelope on his desk. “There’s a list in
there. We asked the players what could be improved around here. They write down
suggestions, no name. It’s free information for me. Sometimes it’s ‘Showers
freezing after training’ [or] the kit; some said they’d rather know the team on
a Friday because sometimes I pick the team on a Saturday.
“I want people to bring in ideas and challenge me. I want to
empower players. When I was out of work, Steve Cooper at Nottingham Forest was
great to me and I saw how he empowers his staff. Thomas Frank [the Brentford
manager] has been brilliant to me. I just like the way he operates around the
training ground, the way he is with the players, empowering them.”
Holden encourages conversation about events outside
football. “We spoke today about the conviction yesterday of the fella [Thomas
Cashman] in Liverpool [for killing Olivia Pratt-Korbel]. We talk about all
sorts of situations. We had the Stephen Lawrence Day Foundation in last
Thursday. It was round the corner from here where Stephen Lawrence was murdered
[in 1993].”
Charlton need Holden’s calming influence. “We were in
trouble when I came in,” he says. The club are losing £6 million to £8 million
a year and the owner, Thomas Sandgaard, wants out. “There’s talk of a new
consortium coming in to help the finance with Thomas,” Holden says. “There is a
lot of uncertainty.”
Peter Storrie, the former West Ham United and Portsmouth
chief executive, has been appointed to a similar position by Sandgaard to act
as a consultant. The previous owner, Roland Duchâtelet, still owns The Valley
and Sparrows Lane. It’s complicated.
Despite the problems upstairs, there’s so much hope out on
the grass. Miles Leaburn, son of the club legends Carl and Tracey, is another
graduate of Steve Avory’s consistently productive academy and scoring freely,
with five in his last four games. “And he’s not just a goalscorer,” Holden says
of Miles, “He’s a target man who can hold it, he’s rapid, he can run in behind.
He’s got a bit of steel, he’ll take a hit from a centre back but he will give
it back as well. And he’s only 19.”
Leaburn was one of five home-grown players starting against
Shrewsbury: Ashley Maynard-Brewer, Terell Thomas, Albie Morgan and Tyreece
Campbell, 19 like Leaburn, were the others. Two teenagers, Zach Mitchell and
Aaron Henry, came on while Daniel Kanu, another academy product, remained on
the bench. Sean Clare, who came off injured, left the academy at 15 so doesn’t
count as an academy graduate. “The conveyor belt at this club is like no
other,” Holden says. He still expects to bring in some older heads in the
summer. “We have to get out of this division [they are 12th in League One] as
soon as we can, hopefully next season. Then go again.”
Training on Tuesday morning reflected the confidence in the
squad, and with plenty of focus on wing play in Holden’s 4-3-3, Jesurun
Rak-Sakyi, the 20-year-old on loan from Crystal Palace, showed why he is highly
regarded with a stream of accurate crosses from the left. Staff talked of
Rak-Sakyi’s first-rate attitude as well as talent.
Holden, 43, loves helping these prospects flourish. He’s
driven by his own experiences growing up. “My parents taught me a work ethic,
no excuses, be good to people. My dad never took a day off in his life.” He
always found time to support Holden, take him to training at Manchester United,
where he has a season-ticket. Not all parents are as supportive. “There was one
boy who played poorly in an under-16 game at a previous club I was at and his
dad just drove off, left him.”
Holden didn’t make it at United but found a pathway at
Bolton Wanderers. He enjoyed a good career but knows how hard it is. “I broke
my leg three times and didn’t get a free kick for any of them,” Holden recalls.
“After the first break, I was never able to get to the level I wanted. One leg
was 1.5cm shorter after the operation. My right leg is bent like a banana.
“But to play to 35 is quite an achievement, even though [it
was] not at the level I wanted. I always felt I let my mum and dad down.
Because of everything they did for me as a kid.”
It is another reason why Holden has such empathy for his
Charlton players. He knows the risks and strains and that is why he urges them
to seize every moment.
