Fresh start for club

Charlton Athletic are looking forward to making a fresh start in partnership with the offshore developers who failed in their bid to build around Millwall’s ground. Three options for the future of the club are being considered and will be voted on by members of a new True Supporters’ Club (details below).

Option one would see the Jimmy Seed stand demolished and replaced by housing. This would create a three sided ground which would be sufficient for League 1 or 2. Away supporters would go in the top tier of the Covered End where they could exchange banter with home fans in the lower tier.

Option 2 would see The Valley demolished for housing and a new 9,000 capacity stadium built in the vicinity of the 02. A site at Herne Bay was considered, but it was thought that this was too near core trouble makers on the Isle of Thanet.

Option 3 is the one favoured by the club. A club spokesman said, ‘What we need is a fresh start with a new fan base. Many Charlton fans are not the brightest kids in the class and they are easily led astray by hotheads.’

The club did consider taking over Rushden & Diamond’s stadium at Nene Park (now being demolished), but it was thought to be too dilapidated, although it is hoped to use part of the site for a new training ground.

Instead the club will move into the home of modern franchise football, stadium mk, providing local fans with home football every week. If the move worked out well, the two clubs might merge as MK Dons Athletic.

As a concession to Kent supporters, a couple of home games will be played each season at Gillingham. There will also be a coach which will leave The Valley at 10.30 a.m. Travelling via Eltham, Welling, Bexleyheath, Bromley and Catford, it will arrive at stadium mk in time for the kick off. On the way back fans will be home for Match of the Day.

Membership will open soon for the True Supporters’ Club. Each member will receive a lapel badge with a picture of Roland and Katrien. There will also be exciting competitions. One prize will be a trip to watch Sint Truiden play, preceded by a lunch of moules et frites with Roland. Another will allow a fan to spend a night with Thomas Dreisen as he works on his statistical analyses of players (slice of pizza and soda of your choice included). Fans can also win a personally autographed copy of Karl Robinson’s Big Book of Excuses.

Members will also receive their own fanzine Voice of the Silent Majority which will give them the alternative facts they have been asking for. This will be produced by some of the country’s leading PR consultants. Each issue will cost at least £20k to produce, but will be free to members. A regular feature will name and shame the ‘vinegar pissers’ who have been undermining the club. First up, VOTV editor Rick Everitt.