Massive news

The news that the city of Sheffield will be represented solely by its massive team in the Championship next season has already been tweeted to Planet GJ667Cc by a team of electronic artists in Arizona. Unfortunately, the news will take twenty years to get there travelling at the speed of light.

However, more information is emerging about this massive planet. Apparently, part of it, especially towards the north, is occupied by a race of super intelligent giant owls who have enough dexterity in their talons to make steel. The feedstock for the steel comes from intergalactic scrap metal merchants.

Apparently they are the remnants of a little known space expedition that was sent from New Cross to Uranus in the hope of finding intelligent life there as there was none in New Cross. They missed their target and ended up in another part of the galaxy.

One of the scrap merchants said, 'It's an in and out job for us on their planet. The screeching of those owls does your head in. And as for the smell. We beam up to the mother ship as soon as we can and tune into the New Den to chill out.'

The rest of the planet is occupied by a humanoid race called Bladesmen whom the Owls depend on to turn their steel into implements. Apparently their cutlery is much prized in that part of the galaxy.

The two races encounter each other at the massive Merryhell retail outlet.